Regardless of what happens during the army, I've always made it a point to read and do some writing everyday. My latest squeeze is Augustine, whom I've found is a God ordained genius who is gifted with insight and the literary skill to express it. Reading Peter Brown's biography on Augustine enlivens the man for me, but nothing beats reading Augustine's own Confessions or the City of God. I wish I could see things like him or write as he wrote. From henceforth, I shall adopt Augustine as my partner in the spiritual walk. However, to avoid being misunderstood, I'm going to spend more time reading and studying him, I am not about to foolishly contemplate communicating with him. I have Jesus, that is all I need. I trust in an almighty God who will use Augustine to teach me about Jesus.
Perhaps the greater challenge of late, being a BMT instructor, is to demonstrate concern to my recruits despite having to be tough in training. May the Lord show according to His Spirit the means by which I shall show real godly love.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
My time in the army
The alarm clock flew into a roaring crescendo and lights peeled through my eyelids. A sigh reverberated through my body as I lumbered toward my cupboard. Gazing around, I can see my bunk mates tugged beneath their blankets, breathing heavily in their awkward slumber, unaware of my pained glance. The night still lodged restfully outside the window, as I drooped to my waiting platoon in army apparel. Sometimes, I think I'm too old for young men's games, yet at times, I feel myself growing younger as I age. That's how I've come to feel about my military life.
The recruits stare with tired and lonesome eyes, but they have to portray a perkiness in their step. They look at me with quiet concern and the thoughts that run in their minds are beyond mine to conjure. To me, they're someone's son, someone's loved one, someone's friend, someone's future husband, someone's future father and that's how I would like to see them. Everyone of them, fearfully and wonderfully made by God Himself and we handle the human soul with trepidation and consideration.
So my mornings begin with some scripture and I read a poem to the platoon in the hope that they remember that mankind was created with the ability to admire a subtle beauty in God and not indulge in raw sinful pleasure. Awaken a man's mind to beauty and it arouses the restlessness that he cannot suppress until he finds his rest in God. So with that they run about and do their physical exercises and I accompany them. The truth is, age has slowly caught up with me here, yet being an instructor, I have to pretend I'm barely affected by the strenuous exercise. The unaffected face is now well trained and to me, its part comedy, part tragedy.
Soon, I'm marching the Boys to the cookhouse. The sun beats feverishly upon their shaven heads but their hunger pangs urges them forward as they advance upon the servings of rice, generously dished out by efficient aunties. They gulp the food down in wanton amounts and sometimes I join them at the table. They ask questions about army, share about family and I remember my BB days. At the dining table, I'm not a SGT, I'm just Charles Ng, a human being communicating with another human being. The army and all its stalking manners dissipates amidst the laughter and for that 20 minutes, its an old man amongst younger men.
Army is the place where young men play soldiers but I'm an old man caught up in the game., rather unwittingly, though Sometimes unwillingly but I'm always thankful that God lovingly rules my life.
The recruits stare with tired and lonesome eyes, but they have to portray a perkiness in their step. They look at me with quiet concern and the thoughts that run in their minds are beyond mine to conjure. To me, they're someone's son, someone's loved one, someone's friend, someone's future husband, someone's future father and that's how I would like to see them. Everyone of them, fearfully and wonderfully made by God Himself and we handle the human soul with trepidation and consideration.
So my mornings begin with some scripture and I read a poem to the platoon in the hope that they remember that mankind was created with the ability to admire a subtle beauty in God and not indulge in raw sinful pleasure. Awaken a man's mind to beauty and it arouses the restlessness that he cannot suppress until he finds his rest in God. So with that they run about and do their physical exercises and I accompany them. The truth is, age has slowly caught up with me here, yet being an instructor, I have to pretend I'm barely affected by the strenuous exercise. The unaffected face is now well trained and to me, its part comedy, part tragedy.
Soon, I'm marching the Boys to the cookhouse. The sun beats feverishly upon their shaven heads but their hunger pangs urges them forward as they advance upon the servings of rice, generously dished out by efficient aunties. They gulp the food down in wanton amounts and sometimes I join them at the table. They ask questions about army, share about family and I remember my BB days. At the dining table, I'm not a SGT, I'm just Charles Ng, a human being communicating with another human being. The army and all its stalking manners dissipates amidst the laughter and for that 20 minutes, its an old man amongst younger men.
Army is the place where young men play soldiers but I'm an old man caught up in the game., rather unwittingly, though Sometimes unwillingly but I'm always thankful that God lovingly rules my life.
I've been an instructor in both the BB and military setting and I guess, from this vantage point, I am able to make a few observations. Both offer memorable experiences that are often discussed and sentimentalized. They conduct a range of activities that people will probably never participate in until they've joined these organizations. Very interestingly, they're both organized under a strict regimented hierarchy so that it might accomplish its purpose of victory in conflict and struggle. The army desires to win a swift and decisive victory. The BB aims to advance Christ Kingdom. Therefore both organizations are poised for war.
Yet one wars to defend territory and national sovereignty through force of arms, the other fights in a spiritual war against forces it cannot see but senses everyday. The army hopes to deter against any invader, the christian, wherever he is, is already at war, whether he likes it or not. To every BB instructor, the invader is already at the gates. Because the nature of the conflict is so drastically different, the manner in which a participant is to be trained, the weapons he is to be trained in has to be vastly different.
In the military, I am concerned about the standards of drill, the ability of my men to use their weapons, their bearing, their cohesiveness ... etc, because that is the difference between life and death on the battlefield. In the BB, I have to be concerned about their knowledge of God, their prayer life, their passion for His glory through bible study, proclamation and song. In the army, I see a field littered with men rushing against the bullets, hopping from tree to tree, advancing against an enemy of flesh. In the BB, we must see a King on a throne, judging the man who has finished his life on earth.
The problem I fear is that we do not recognise the wars we're fighting anymore and for that forget how we should train our people. One remembers well, that the happiness of the participant is secondary, his survival on the battlefield, both battlefields, is the great essential.
Yet one wars to defend territory and national sovereignty through force of arms, the other fights in a spiritual war against forces it cannot see but senses everyday. The army hopes to deter against any invader, the christian, wherever he is, is already at war, whether he likes it or not. To every BB instructor, the invader is already at the gates. Because the nature of the conflict is so drastically different, the manner in which a participant is to be trained, the weapons he is to be trained in has to be vastly different.
In the military, I am concerned about the standards of drill, the ability of my men to use their weapons, their bearing, their cohesiveness ... etc, because that is the difference between life and death on the battlefield. In the BB, I have to be concerned about their knowledge of God, their prayer life, their passion for His glory through bible study, proclamation and song. In the army, I see a field littered with men rushing against the bullets, hopping from tree to tree, advancing against an enemy of flesh. In the BB, we must see a King on a throne, judging the man who has finished his life on earth.
The problem I fear is that we do not recognise the wars we're fighting anymore and for that forget how we should train our people. One remembers well, that the happiness of the participant is secondary, his survival on the battlefield, both battlefields, is the great essential.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
The the Lord said to Moses, "depart and go up from here, you and the people whome you have brought out of the land of Egypt, to the land which i swore to Abraham, Issac and Jacob, saying " to your descendants will I give it." And I will send My Angel before you and I will drive out the Caananite and the Amorite and the Hittite and the Perizzite and the Hivite and the jebusite. Go up to a land flowing with milk and honey; for I will not go up in your midst, lest I consume you on the way, for you are stiff necked people." Exodus 33:1-3
This is the thing i would never ever wish to hear from God. I suspect the most tragic thing that could ever happen is to live a life of blessing without God; no suffering, no pain, no trial, no test to jolt or shake the blindness away. A friend of mine always reminds me of this truth- that God's gifts and blessings are many a time the idols that draw our hearts away from Him. Men have the tendency to elevate His gifts over the Giver Himself.
Yet, as Paul points out, thats missing the point. Its idolatry. Christ is the prize. And thats the point when we become deep and solidly christian. When Christ becomes the prize, the everything, the joy of our forever. Everything else is an obstacle unless it glorifies Him and thats our undying passion. Drawing near to Jesus.
Christianity happens, when a depraved man who worships himself, is aghast at His depravity before God, realises that the God who created all creation is more than worthy of praise and worship, is the rightful and sole pursuit of this man's Being. All the blessings are worthless without Him. Being with Christ, is all that we want, all that we need.
"If your presence does not go with us, we don't want to leave this place." Exo 33:15
Thats right.... I would rather stay in the desert with God than dwell in infinite blessings without Jesus.
This is the thing i would never ever wish to hear from God. I suspect the most tragic thing that could ever happen is to live a life of blessing without God; no suffering, no pain, no trial, no test to jolt or shake the blindness away. A friend of mine always reminds me of this truth- that God's gifts and blessings are many a time the idols that draw our hearts away from Him. Men have the tendency to elevate His gifts over the Giver Himself.
Yet, as Paul points out, thats missing the point. Its idolatry. Christ is the prize. And thats the point when we become deep and solidly christian. When Christ becomes the prize, the everything, the joy of our forever. Everything else is an obstacle unless it glorifies Him and thats our undying passion. Drawing near to Jesus.
Christianity happens, when a depraved man who worships himself, is aghast at His depravity before God, realises that the God who created all creation is more than worthy of praise and worship, is the rightful and sole pursuit of this man's Being. All the blessings are worthless without Him. Being with Christ, is all that we want, all that we need.
"If your presence does not go with us, we don't want to leave this place." Exo 33:15
Thats right.... I would rather stay in the desert with God than dwell in infinite blessings without Jesus.
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