The next batch goes

So I thought to myself, " thats pretty saddening, ain't it?" and the truth of the matter began to hit home. Here I was, standing before an emptied Company line, looking up into the once-lively bunks of my recruits and feeling a distinct sense of nostalgia. Sentimentality has always been a great friend of mine, in fact, we are so close people gossip. Never liked to leave home without her really. Anyhow, another batch of Recruits had finished their short 2 month stay in our lovely resort and were embarking on their next adventure - into some dark and wet jungle, somewhere if not anywhere.

Of course, that had to mean abandoning me behind in this regimented disneyland. And seeing people come and go hardens one abit as well as saddens one continually. On one hand, the sadness depreciates as every batch leaves because I'm getting used to seeing them go. On the other side of the coin, I wonder if I'm destined to be with people only for a while and then watch them fly away. Take my BB Boys for example, I think many of us officers commit way loads of time to the Boys. The problem, of course, is that we aren't paid like teachers and we don't get to teach and meet the Boys everyday though many of us would want to meet them more often than the casual saturday. But we sacrifice tonnes and tonnes of time/money/friendships (you name it) during the week. But at the end of the day, I sometimes feel like a side dish, you know the french fries to the main course. Really adds to the flavour, but we can do without you.

So when I watched my BB Boys finish their term, I thought well, there they go, at least I was a stepping stone to their next stage in life. We worked with them toward their President's awards, their university placings, tuition them in subjects they were weak in and teach them the bible. The real joy was in seeing them grow closer to Christ. Certainly, some of them disappointed, some grew unexpectedly but the truth still remains, all of them moved on. But at the end of the day, there were few illusions, we were there so that they could learn about Jesus. Despite some of the ideas of what we had to be, I still strongly believe that we're there solely for their eternal good and not to raise the reputation of some organisation, or to play some tactical game to be the most well liked officer in the Company (which is crazy, because to be that sort of officer, you just had to be nice and teach an easy to swallow Jesus. ) Like my army Boys, who happen to be rather more grateful (perhaps its because I became like a teacher finally, I could have them everyday, 24/7 uninterrupted to teach them everything), after spending time together, its just time for them to get along with life and i just hope that they learnt a little abit about my God at the end of it.

The grand truth? well I would like to have them call me and talk to me or at least tell me how they all are, just once in a while, doesn't have to be too often really (not once every hour, once a day would be nice :P I'm kidding, just once in a while). Its sentimentality whispering in my ear really. But at the end of the day, hopefully, I was used by God to show more of Christ because people like myself, just happen to be stepping stones to Jesus Himself. I find myself very flawed and its easy to find my weak points. Yet its in my flawed nature that I know when God uses me, its a divine privilege and i just hope that when I meet God, He would become my prize.

So here I am staring at the bunks, the sadness has departed with the writing, I'm about to move on, but before that I am going to smile.