Was watching the opera, farewell my concubine, where Xiang Yu, trapped by the armies of Liu Bang witnesses the last dance by his most beloved, Yu Ji. Once the conqueror of China, the warrior almost undefeated, who single handedly brings down the Empire of Qin ShiHuang, now trapped with 800 horsemen in the canyons of Gaixia. His final words to Yu Ji before she commits suicide still resonates:
My strength could move mountains, and courage envelop the world,
But the times not acceding, my horse will not gallop,
What can I do if my horse refuses to move?
Yu Ji, Yu Ji, What can I possibly do!
I thought it was very sad indeed. With thus much competence and ability, the gumption to govern but "the times not acceding", an almost fatalistic whip at human fragility.
Quite thankful that in Christ, His timing is perfect and His love can sustain and transform all matters. Unlike what the Chinese call fate, or what the Jedi call force, we can associate with the person who commands all things with Love and holiness.
Perhaps we ask, then what is He doing about so much injustice? Where His servants struggle to do His work...
Well, I'll tell you, God is in Heaven, supremely in control, guiding His people through with Love and though much is yet unseen, all will be known in due time. He is above, storing up wrath for that terrible day, as much as He is wishing for that day when we will be with Him.
So should all things fail, and all work falters, in this God I shall trust.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Language
What feeling is this? What is this irrepressible sense of the inexpressible? I cannot put any word to it ... is it elation and sorrow combined, the ecstatic and depressing mingled and mixed... what is it? When language fails, what next? How does one communicate the sublime or the million of emotions that we haven't found a word for ... are we constrained by what we can describe, locked within a cage of constraining vocabulary. Its almost dreadfully funny.
The heart seems to have a language of its own, one that it mastered from time immemorial- one that has pressed itself upon the contradictions of the spoken language of mankind. Clearly it has its own songs, its syntex and vocabulary. Its what we call heartfelt. Felt but unspoken. Its the language of our contemplation, the language of aspiration and inspiration in our everyday life. When Christ came and transformed everything, He gave us that new heartsong and the engraved gospel into the hearts of sinful man. A new language we seemed to become aware of.
With not a word, my heart can speak to God in a language that I cannot speak but to which He understands. I do not doubt that God knows the languages I function in, the full meaning of each word i use, the nuances of the heart.
And now i humbly wonder, what language does my God, You speak? It must be the language of Love and Grace, resplendent with Holiness and Righteousness. Its words must be sweet honey to all who hear and its vocabulary must be the varied millions of means to describing the infinite beauties of the Lord. It must be the language i was supposed to speak, one that my sin had stolen from me. What can one give to hear Jesus speak?
And so in the midst of feelings indescribable, when my pen had failed to scribble its intensity, when my mind has railed at the failures of our own earthly language, I look to God for a new day, when I can hear and sing the songs of heaven, without having any of this abject difficulty.
The heart seems to have a language of its own, one that it mastered from time immemorial- one that has pressed itself upon the contradictions of the spoken language of mankind. Clearly it has its own songs, its syntex and vocabulary. Its what we call heartfelt. Felt but unspoken. Its the language of our contemplation, the language of aspiration and inspiration in our everyday life. When Christ came and transformed everything, He gave us that new heartsong and the engraved gospel into the hearts of sinful man. A new language we seemed to become aware of.
With not a word, my heart can speak to God in a language that I cannot speak but to which He understands. I do not doubt that God knows the languages I function in, the full meaning of each word i use, the nuances of the heart.
And now i humbly wonder, what language does my God, You speak? It must be the language of Love and Grace, resplendent with Holiness and Righteousness. Its words must be sweet honey to all who hear and its vocabulary must be the varied millions of means to describing the infinite beauties of the Lord. It must be the language i was supposed to speak, one that my sin had stolen from me. What can one give to hear Jesus speak?
And so in the midst of feelings indescribable, when my pen had failed to scribble its intensity, when my mind has railed at the failures of our own earthly language, I look to God for a new day, when I can hear and sing the songs of heaven, without having any of this abject difficulty.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
expression of character
I had so many thoughts today, its probably amazing that I'm trying. Whilst walking out from Kino, I noticed a rather plump man with his average looking wife taking the escalator. She was pregnant and was trying to get on to the ruthless mechanical stairway that had become the lifeline for high rise shopping centers. The man, attentive to her every movement, held her hand tightly as he watched her wobble her right foot forward onto the escalator. Quite oblivious to the 23 year old standing behind, he gave her a kiss on her head, pleased with both mother and child. Turning softly to him, she looked at him, the man she had chosen to spend the rest of her life with and uttered not a word.
It induced a palpable sensation in my spine, a gentle nod of approval at that small and genuine show of affection. It was rather beautiful indeed. As i continued my march to borders, i noticed quite a number of couples, all young, some of whom were, admittedly immensely attractive. Some were incredibly affectionate, rather too openly in my opinion but thats a topic that will become a diatribe of sorts. I thought, yes, attractive, but not beautiful. I think thats quite nearly it, that the subject or object of love might not be attractive, but the expression of love can be beautiful.
Its like art, you see. Its not about painting attractive people that makes art beautiful, rather its the ability to express an emotion or theme through the people that makes art beautiful. lets take the Mona Lisa - for half the world, we are still not exactly sure if its a Ms Lisa or a Mr Lisa! so i don't think she or he (pardon me) is exactly an attractive character. But the great draw of that work is in its enigmatic quality (the smile they say), so difficult to capture in art and thus has intrigued an audience for centuries. Like the couple at the escalator, it was not that either was particularly good looking, but their love was genuine, sincere and heartfelt. Thats beautiful.
This principle carries on to the christian world in many senses. Our God is beautiful and we can see that the gospel writers are not head over heals in trying to describe his height, facial features...etc,rather they want to declare his actions! God, ever and always, powerfully expresses who He is, the sweeping justice, righteousness, compassion, love, holiness (the list is endless) of His person. God is Love, John writes, all His actions are expressions of true love. Thats infintiely beautiful.
its a sharp contrast to the world, where mankind is focused upon the attraction and not the expression of the person. Partly i guess, idolatory is quite an abomination because it trys to capture a face and lead people to worship something they can see and be attracted to. It fails to see that God who must be worshipped cannot be seen (yet) but is understood and known through the expression of Himself through His creation, His mighty works and best through the undying sacrifice on the Cross.
let me clarify, not every expression is beautiful. but clearly an attractive person is not necessarily beautiful. Beauty must be accompanied by biblical underpinnings.
I need to think more about this. i think i might discover more if i think through this more carefully and pray it through with the Word. If you've any views, please let me know yah? :)
also the economy is getting real shaky. wanted to write abit about it. No time, and i want to read my books. Been trying to reread war and peace (absolutely brilliant the 2nd round) and this new book i got at the marvellous 35percent discount at borders - the metaphysical club.
It induced a palpable sensation in my spine, a gentle nod of approval at that small and genuine show of affection. It was rather beautiful indeed. As i continued my march to borders, i noticed quite a number of couples, all young, some of whom were, admittedly immensely attractive. Some were incredibly affectionate, rather too openly in my opinion but thats a topic that will become a diatribe of sorts. I thought, yes, attractive, but not beautiful. I think thats quite nearly it, that the subject or object of love might not be attractive, but the expression of love can be beautiful.
Its like art, you see. Its not about painting attractive people that makes art beautiful, rather its the ability to express an emotion or theme through the people that makes art beautiful. lets take the Mona Lisa - for half the world, we are still not exactly sure if its a Ms Lisa or a Mr Lisa! so i don't think she or he (pardon me) is exactly an attractive character. But the great draw of that work is in its enigmatic quality (the smile they say), so difficult to capture in art and thus has intrigued an audience for centuries. Like the couple at the escalator, it was not that either was particularly good looking, but their love was genuine, sincere and heartfelt. Thats beautiful.
This principle carries on to the christian world in many senses. Our God is beautiful and we can see that the gospel writers are not head over heals in trying to describe his height, facial features...etc,rather they want to declare his actions! God, ever and always, powerfully expresses who He is, the sweeping justice, righteousness, compassion, love, holiness (the list is endless) of His person. God is Love, John writes, all His actions are expressions of true love. Thats infintiely beautiful.
its a sharp contrast to the world, where mankind is focused upon the attraction and not the expression of the person. Partly i guess, idolatory is quite an abomination because it trys to capture a face and lead people to worship something they can see and be attracted to. It fails to see that God who must be worshipped cannot be seen (yet) but is understood and known through the expression of Himself through His creation, His mighty works and best through the undying sacrifice on the Cross.
let me clarify, not every expression is beautiful. but clearly an attractive person is not necessarily beautiful. Beauty must be accompanied by biblical underpinnings.
I need to think more about this. i think i might discover more if i think through this more carefully and pray it through with the Word. If you've any views, please let me know yah? :)
also the economy is getting real shaky. wanted to write abit about it. No time, and i want to read my books. Been trying to reread war and peace (absolutely brilliant the 2nd round) and this new book i got at the marvellous 35percent discount at borders - the metaphysical club.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
That Sunset
Its 230am and I'm listening to the radio and my mind is breezing through a series of issues. Reflecting into the seeping darkness, I stumble upon the thoughts of the day - Enoch Powell, Yamamoto Kanuke, War and Peace, Finality and Fragility. Its interest me that if i measured my thought life, there might be little coherence and any underpinning structure. Is the mind inherently random, and the logical sequences disconnected; the way Napoleon talks about various drawers in his mental furniture, opened and closed at or against one's will.
I guess I'm being restless because today was a particularly quiet day, with half the day in the library and the other half resting. I got to gaze from the balcony the dazzle and frazzle of the sunset. The world (as in nature) can be overwhelming in its display of glory. This strange aloneness, so intensely acute this very momentis making me wonder - I'm wondering what made that sunset beautiful? Was I made with an imputed sense of beauty?
Oh, why is man made to taste the sublime if it induces in him the melancholy of the ages? For the sublime dissipates so quickly and the normality of before becomes detestable. Or have all these glimpses of the sublime rouse sufficient dissatisfaction so as to become a compass to a fantastic and hopeful future? - its got to be. I was made to admire beauty yet never the gift to replicate it in its totality. Like all human beings. we've spent our whole lives mimicking, imitating, caricaturing even, the attributes of Beauty and in all our failed attempts, carved out the history of smashed aspirations and broken hearts.
Yet it is in this brokenness itself, the failure of it all, that the beauty of our weakness is greatly accentuated. For God spreads His wings across our failures and makes it His victories. God did not construct it just so that man should compare his failures and thus adore God the more. He has found it good to string our failures into the eternal tapestry with Loving Hands, to better demonstrate His glory. My weaknesses cannot hinder His praise, but better, even my weakness, insufficiencies, melancholy will be used to glorify Him.
Not that I should willfully sin, but that I can do nothing to hinder His glory. Like the sunset I admired in the evening, I can but adore and not hinder. He will receive all praise.
I guess I'm being restless because today was a particularly quiet day, with half the day in the library and the other half resting. I got to gaze from the balcony the dazzle and frazzle of the sunset. The world (as in nature) can be overwhelming in its display of glory. This strange aloneness, so intensely acute this very momentis making me wonder - I'm wondering what made that sunset beautiful? Was I made with an imputed sense of beauty?
Oh, why is man made to taste the sublime if it induces in him the melancholy of the ages? For the sublime dissipates so quickly and the normality of before becomes detestable. Or have all these glimpses of the sublime rouse sufficient dissatisfaction so as to become a compass to a fantastic and hopeful future? - its got to be. I was made to admire beauty yet never the gift to replicate it in its totality. Like all human beings. we've spent our whole lives mimicking, imitating, caricaturing even, the attributes of Beauty and in all our failed attempts, carved out the history of smashed aspirations and broken hearts.
Yet it is in this brokenness itself, the failure of it all, that the beauty of our weakness is greatly accentuated. For God spreads His wings across our failures and makes it His victories. God did not construct it just so that man should compare his failures and thus adore God the more. He has found it good to string our failures into the eternal tapestry with Loving Hands, to better demonstrate His glory. My weaknesses cannot hinder His praise, but better, even my weakness, insufficiencies, melancholy will be used to glorify Him.
Not that I should willfully sin, but that I can do nothing to hinder His glory. Like the sunset I admired in the evening, I can but adore and not hinder. He will receive all praise.
Friday, November 02, 2007
Of romance
Shall a quickening heart race before the mind finds solace in the sweet reckless romance?
Nay, sir. It is romance to falter when sober minds discontinue.
Then brighter than morn, the monsoons of tempestuous embrace, for youths live no longer than today,
Shall then love be greatest when flowers bloom, not when its petals fall and its end be the glorious?
I think otherwise.
The world swirls in eternal dissonance, with not a clang in tandem, and hearts and minds are torn to argument. Oh young man, will then true love abide? For sophistication and wrenching pain cannot truly replace, a Love worn bare by God above. Who then should allow that youthful trysts replace, so vast, so deep an eternal romance.
Nay, sir. It is romance to falter when sober minds discontinue.
Then brighter than morn, the monsoons of tempestuous embrace, for youths live no longer than today,
Shall then love be greatest when flowers bloom, not when its petals fall and its end be the glorious?
I think otherwise.
The world swirls in eternal dissonance, with not a clang in tandem, and hearts and minds are torn to argument. Oh young man, will then true love abide? For sophistication and wrenching pain cannot truly replace, a Love worn bare by God above. Who then should allow that youthful trysts replace, so vast, so deep an eternal romance.
God is intimately beautiful. Beautiful. He commands all of creation and better than that, He is thoroughly obeyed by so vast a spectre of diversity. He is the great judge, the infinitely wise One, the glorious source of life. Thats the God I know.
He's the God who smiles. Who wraps me in His arms. He's the one who is most pained by the evil that I do and He guides me to know Him better. To me, He is love eternal and I want to hold His hand for the rest of my life. I'm quite sorry that so many things had at one time seemed to take precedent over just gazing and thinking about Him. Thats the God I know.
He is the treasure that all the world cannot buy. He is the glory of Living, the reason for the rescue on the cross, the One on the cross and the One now raised high.
He's the God who smiles. Who wraps me in His arms. He's the one who is most pained by the evil that I do and He guides me to know Him better. To me, He is love eternal and I want to hold His hand for the rest of my life. I'm quite sorry that so many things had at one time seemed to take precedent over just gazing and thinking about Him. Thats the God I know.
He is the treasure that all the world cannot buy. He is the glory of Living, the reason for the rescue on the cross, the One on the cross and the One now raised high.
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