All things

Writing this is a rush and huff,

Have I considered eternity rightly? Is but all I know, the speck of time a useful prism into this mystical reality.... Its hard to say, so hard to tell, that God reigns forever and has set the spectre of that within the hearts of men. When men stare at aged skies and mountain peaks, they sigh in recognition of the shortness of existence but are at once connecting with a transcendental reality. When we are most aware of our temporal state, we are most in touch with the eternal world.

God did not make men with the capacity to understand all things, or to fathom all matters, but He has given men the privilege to appreciate and adore Him, the One, who holds all wisdom within Himself. He did not allow us understanding into all matters, but to all, He gave the capacity to love deeply and through Him to resolve all things with Love. Love He gave freely, because with it, comes revelation and He being Love, gave Himself freely. All things are made to praise God and thus all things cannot but eventually glorify Him.

There are two ways to find meaning. One is by not finding it and then ultimately realising that everything we did is used for His glory. Even that wasted life will be meaningfully used for His glory. The other is to pursue Him and to Love all dearly, thereby discovering meaning everyday. It is as the bible says, all things will be for the exemplification of the Christ, for only that deserves magnification..

Is it, O Lord, because of your Love, that we are so captivated by eternity?

Deny Comfort

"Every Organisation will always tend towards the comfort of its management"

"God did not call people to an easy life, He called them to make them great in Christ"

This has been a recurring thought in my mind in the past week since the Harvard prof, O'Hare, popped by to join our discussion and summarised what definitely is a truism in management.
People like organisations will work towards a condition whereby they can work the least and gain the most from it. The problem is that in this self interested conundrum, there is little incentive to be godly in the short term, because it demands so much labour.

Honestly, I'm tired of organisations that pretend to be following a big vision but are actually pursuing the self aggrandizement or the comfort of its managers. Pretense can only go so far. After which, the deplorable is exposed and everyone realises that it has compromised greatness in Christ. All vision is a mixture of the pragmatic and the incessantly optimistic. its hard headed and hopeful at the same time.

Leaders (different from managers) must separate what is good for oneself and best for people, best for the Kingdom. Leadership is risky business and it compromises comfort for progress, movement for stasis and purpose for tradition. Its idea driven, not necessarily goal orientated, more concerned about changing cultures and mindsets than about meeting targets. It wants to create a police force that is vigilant and inspired, not necessarily provide one policeman for every street.

Leaders know that if given to themselves, most people (including myself so often) will tend towards wanting that easy life. but Leaders want people to be great in Christ- humble, loving, purposeful and courageous. In organisational literature, its about people who dare to think ideas, who want to meet challenges and try. In our Christian world, the greatest people are least concerned about their comfort, thinking rather of the glory thereafter, in a vastly superior eternity.

On a personal level, I'm aware of too much comfort in my life. How should one face up to my friends in India when we meet again? How shall I identify with their stripes? I'm going for a mission trip that houses us, short term missionaries in 4 star hotels! Pastor Nainan refused all offers of a bigger house because he wanted to minister to the villagers, thus a small decrepit house. But bless his heart, He lives in the Love of God. I must learn to discipline myself, never to indulge excessively, always to be harsh with my time, possessions, so that the days can be redeemed.

Perhaps I should stop blogging now... I think I'm going to make some distinct changes in my life soon. I am becoming too comfortable in some places, i must leave. I have allowed some habits that have sipped in quietly to take more hold. Well goodbye to them. Got to be stricter with oneself. And I've decided that I will pray hard that in the future, God will grant grace to allow me to serve under God fearing leaders, in organisations that truly are driven by vision.

Fuurin Kazan

Takeda Shingen, being a disciple of Sun Tzu, emblazoned his banners with Fuurin kazan - 風林火山- Swift as the wind, silent as the forest, fierce as fire and immovable as the mountains. I remembered watching Heaven and Earth , the Japanese movie depicting the Kawanakajima battles, when I was a young 14 year old, with armour clad Takeda Cavalry charging into the Uesurgi formations against the background of blooming flowers and ambivalent mountain ranges. The Japanese as I've come to observe in their movies and literature, enjoy potraying a juxtaposition of the temporal passions of man and the eternal unflinching disengagement of nature.

Went cycling on friday and ate this huge dinner (compliments to Nick). Am beginning to notice the winds are starting to change. Its about time.

Incapacitated

In the past two weeks, I've lost my keys, two hand phones and am largely incapacitated by a severe headache that is not rescinding. Its an odd situation to be in, when i try to work, but a terrible strain presses in at the temples and I rest my head on the pillows, massaging the crown, in the hope that some alleviation of pain would quickly follow. The sad truth is that it doesn't and for 3-4 hours, I cannot even think properly. So the thoughts swirl in the vaccum and time that runs without end, pauses in the grey matter that inflicts itself with pain. I'm no believer in panadol but if this continues, I just might have to pop a few pills.

All work grinds to a halt, and i mean my usual system of reading and writing too ceases to function. Amidst all this, i've found it rather cheerful that little things like good old memories resurface and bring much needed smiles. its fascinating how the brain works - a certain randomness mingles with the cogency and it's this potent combination that the mind exerts itself upon life. I'm rather thankful despite this condition and i pray it goes away soon. The best part of this is that I've been sleeping rather well. The bad part is that a backlog the size of a tsunami is fast approaching my banks and i shoud quickly siphon some of that heat whenever i can.

So when the headache goes, I'm typing this entry, so that those who read, can help me by praying for it to go away. If it doesn't, well that i might learn the lessons for why it suddenly got worse in the past two weeks. I'm quite sure that the dear good God who is in control has good reasons for this and again very oddly, I'm much rather too composed and neither too eager to find out why. I shall count it joy and am rather chirpy.

Anyhow, that aside, I've been reading some books on strategy and The Idiot by Dostoevsky. All of which are pretty good reads, especially the latter. Also finishing Greenspan's biography which i find decent for an economist! My view of strategy has always been such - its about doing the right thing, not doing the easy thing. Its about the right way in and right way out, not about the easy and comfortable.

Maybe we will discuss this some time later. But for now, its incapacity and i understand that they dish out money for that in the UK. Would love to be at the receiving end :P

Along A narrow and difficult path

Yesterday, I was up and going about doing a search on Thomas Aquinas and thought it would be a great thing to share some thoughts about so striking a life. His Summa Theologica is about the brightest star in the vast galaxy of theological work, but the man is not as well known. I thought a short discussion on him would be eminently helpful, yet almost quite suddenly as I sat down in the early morning, I seemed to stumble upon a rather distinct sense of helplessness.

It was a mental and emotional ditch of some sort, an acute sense of weakness and powerlessness. The whole being was jotted into quiet desperation, if you like, not the sort that Thoreau describes, but it was vastly more spiritual. The road ahead, as I saw it, was fraught with obstacles, and i could see the feebleness of my hands and heart. The chances of finishing this journey were not just improbable, it was blatantly impossible.

For some moments, I despaired and pondered.

Please take from me my life, when I don't have the strength to give it away to you Jesus.

Lord, prepare me, to be a sanctuary, pure and Holy, tried and true. With Thanksgiving, I'll be a living sanctuary for You

So I remembered the songs. Then, rather instinctively, I thought about the dreams, the ambitions... there is so much i want to do and accomplish you see. The whole world is an oyster they say, but it seems Christians are allergic to seafood. There were so many people i knew, the ones close to God, who sacrificed so much. As Paul would call them, as he so calls himself, the fiflth of the world. They shared in the rejection of Christ. If I was to be a sacrifice, a humble and empty vessel ready for use, an intimate friend of Jesus, I would have the honour of sharing in His rejection, and of course His love, Joy notwithstanding.

If this pleases You, if this brings souls to You, Lord I accept all things with joy.

So, that road ahead is fraught with impossibilities, but God is the supreme overcomer. I sang,

Whatever my lot, thou has taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul

And as I continued the day, with a cross, quite hard to bear, I came home to find a poem framed in a small wooden casing. In it the poem, the Gate of the Year... by Louise Haskins. The first two stanzas are eminently known, the latter part slightly less. It goes,

I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year
Give me a light that i may tread safely into the unknown

And he replied "Go into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God
And that shall be to you, better than light and safer than a known way

So I went forth and finding the Hand of God
Trod gladly into the night
He led me towards the hills
And the breaking of day in the lone east

So Heart be still
What need our human life to know
If God had Comprehension?

In all the dizzy strife of things
Both High and Low
God hideth His intention"

yes, I thought, how beautiful, heart be still, what need our human life to know, If Jesus be companion, then the road though treacherous no less, will never break this helpless man from His Hand.